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The Importance of Giving Yourself Time



I talk a lot about improving your mindset. For people with chronic skin conditions, your mindset is your most powerful tool. Developing a more positive mindset can greatly improve your quality of life – I’m living proof of just how great life can be once you truly accept and love yourself, including your skin.


At the same time, it’s important to keep in mind that htis can take time. I’d like to help you be realistic about what the process of improving your mindset really looks like. I hope this will help you to be more gentle with yourself throughout this process.


Progress is Not Linear


When starting out on a transformational journey, most people expect that they’ll make steady progress straight towards their goal. This is especially true when you’ve decided to invest in a coach or a program to help you achieve what you’re looking to do. It’s easy to assume that you’ll just follow the blueprint and move straight towards your goal.


The truth is that progress almost never looks like that. Instead of a straight line, progress is a curly, messy, and very unpredictable line. You may even feel like you’re moving backwards sometimes.


The Process of Learning New Skills


It’s normal to feel like you’re not making any progress sometimes, and even to feel like you’re moving backwards from time to time. There are many reasons for this, but one of them is that you naturally move through stages as you learn something new.


  • Unconscious Incompetence. At first, you don’t know what you don’t know. There are many important areas that you’re simply unaware of, and you don’t even realize it. For example, in this stage, you may not yet realize the importance of negative thought loops.

  • Conscious Incompetence. During this stage, you begin to become aware of areas that you hadn’t previously realized were important. Even though learning about these areas definitely constitutes making progress, this stage often doesn’t feel like progress at all. In fact, you may feel like you’re moving backwards, because you’re suddenly aware of many areas that you’re not yet in control of. For example, in this stage, you’d now be aware of your negative thought loops and the impact that they have, but not yet be able to control them.

  • Conscious Competence. During this stage, you gradually begin to master new skills. You still have to think about them in order to do them, but you become more and more capable over time. For example, in this stage, you may still notice negative thought loops at times, but you’re better and better able to replace them with more positive and realistic thought patterns.

  • Unconscious Incompetence. During this stage, your new skills become habits, and you do them without even thinking about them. This is where everyone would like to end up eventually. Although it can take some time to get here, it’s important to keep in mind that you will absolutely make it to this stage if you stay committed. For example, your new postiive thought patterns will eventually become your default, and it will be rare for you to get stuck in a negative thought loop.


Even these stages can be messy. Some days, you may find it easy to replace negative thought loops with more positive ones, but on days when you’re tired or stressed, you may be aware of these loops but find it harder to control them.


Make sure that you’re gentle with yourself as you move through your transformational journey. Trust the process, and know that you’ll end up where you want to be as long as you stick to the path. It may not always be easy – inf act, I can guarantee you that it will be difficult at times. But this journey of transformation is worth it. I know, because I’ve been through it, and I’ve watched countless clients go through it too.


It can definitely be helpful to have support, to help you stay committed even when things get harder. That’s why I created Mind Gut Skin Academy. This transformational program will help you to learn the skills you need to improve your mindset, along with your gut health and your lifestyle. Ultimately, the goal is for people with chronic skin conditions to learn to thrive, and to be truly and deeply in love with themselves and their lives. If you’re looking for support along your journey, the brand-new version of the program will open its doors soon. Head here to learn more or to join the waitlist.

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